She was pretty

*cries*

*cries a river*

(the part where i cried so badly)

So I watched a Korean drama these past few days and I couldn’t believe that I actually did cry a lot, I mean really, a lot! My shirt was soaking wet because the drama was too dramatic for me or is it just me...having my emotional time...? No! It was really a touching movie. I had to change to another shirt because the first shirt was soaking really wet. Can you imagine how hard the drama hit me? Yep, it hit me really hard. 

The drama is about an ugly-looking girl, Hye Jin, was too afraid to see her childhood friend, Seung Joon who has grown up to be a handsome and good-looking man. I can feel you, unnie(sister). So the unnie decided to ask her good-looking best friend, Ha Ri to pretend as she is the person who was the man’s childhood friend, meaning they swapped identity for a while. Ha Ri was supposed to meet Seung Joon for only once and tell him that she got to go overseas to further her studies in England but then things changed when Seung Joon saw Ha Ri at a hotel where she worked for. Ha Ri, pretending to be Hye Jin told Seung Joon that she got back to Korea because she got a place in the hotel management so she decided to take the job. But Ha Ri didn’t tell Hye Jin about it and she met Seung Joon without Hye Jin’s knowing. Hye Jin got a place in a some kind of magazine company where Seung Joon was the director of the department she was working with. Things became more complicated for Hye Jin since they both in a same office. Then came a guy that Hye Jin used to call as Director Kim who loved to play around with Hye Jin and he ended up liking her as more than a friend. Director Kim had really fell for Hye Jin but she fell for Seung Joon instead.

I should really apply for the writer of synopsis haha!

Ok here comes the point.

A woman got into an accident and then a man straight away took his motorcycle away and went through the rain to meet the woman. But then, there was another guy who came with a car, to rescue the woman too and he reached earlier than the motorcycle guy and gave the woman a relief hug. When the motorcycle guy arrived, he had to see that they were hugging in front of him. Which one do you guys think the most precious? The one with the motorcyle guy or the car guy that gave her a warm hug? For me, the motorcycle guy had given effort that was priceless. He had gone through the rain in order to rescue the woman and he ended up seeing the woman that he loved, was hugging another man. For me, that is what ‘love’ is called. Seeing the one who you love, is loving someone else and that makes you happy, that is when you truly and deeply love someone. Who would want to see your loved ones in someone else’s arm? /sigh/ this korean drama had really affected on me! Off to sleep, adios!





Fri(end)s

Where to begin...

Ah! I just discovered my hobby, well my actual hobby, instead of watching movies and sleeping. I discovered that i love to write! Yes, write! Why? Em maybe it is because I have no one to talk to and then i got so much things and words running in my head so i decided to write. It somehow relieves me that i can express my feeling into writing even in Microsoft word. Oh wait...that is typing? Nah i considered it the same. Since my handwriting is not that good...well it is not even good though haha so yah I decided to make microsoft and blogger as my diary. But well, that is not my point why I am writing now. So lets proceed..


I never thought that it could end up like this. You know, when you have a special kind of friendship among your friends and we all ended up as strangers few years later. I am experiencing one of the phases right now. Sigh, where to begin again.. I have never, like ever experienced a strong bond of friendship between me and friends like I had with them. Whoops, is it too early for me to say “had”? Ok since I am still having my faith, yep, friendship that I am having right now. Too bad, I am the one now who always nag about this and that but they don’t seem like bothering anymore. It hurts, really. A person had told me a phrase, “when you feel like separating, think again about the good sides of it.” Well, it sounds cheesy but I can clearly see the point there. Yes, I am hurting right now because they have been ignoring me for a long time. But then i remembered that we all are grown ups now and we got our own lives instead of living in a bunch of us. Now that is the thing that I am afraid the most. Seeing them, busy with their own lives, that is the thing that has come to the top of my fears. I just...I couldn’t bear with it.




Where, What & Why

It is harder than I have ever expected. To decide where to study, what course to take, & why must I take it. I have been thinking about this for a month. This happens when you listened too much from different people. I am still confuse whether to stay in the engineering family or step out from my course back in SPM and take a new experience in a new surrounding. Still thinking though. If I pursue in engineering, I got the advantage because I have the basics theory in the studies. Meaning that when other students are learning new stuffs, I just have to revise the basics I learnt back in school. Quite interesting huh? *smirk* Or maybe I should take business (in additional of banking and finance too) and gain new knowledges and new things to learn? /literally fainted/

"Apply je semua. Nanti bila dapat baru fikir" - mostly the seniorita would say,

And then I did, what they have told to me. I did applied for....I don't even know the numbers of the universities??? Mostly high recommended are like, MMU, IUKL, Taylor's and bla bla bla. Few days later, I got feedback(s) from the universities and they offered me the programme that I am interested in. There you go. Different colleges, same course, different modules, same duration of study. Dizzy mizzy Ika. Oh I need to take panadol now!

"It's not about the money, money" - Jessie J

Oh I caught that you were wrong, Jessie. YES! It is all about the money??? If I am going to take private college to pursue my studies, who's going to pay for it? Yes, of course my father. As the eldest in the number of two, I don't want to burden my father to pay all the fees. Loan? Sooner or later, I have to pay for it. I don't know what other students feel, but for me, how can you study at same time you are having debt$ for your studies?

Few days till June and most of the fellas are going for uitm to pursue theirs'. Good luck to all of you! I wish nothing but the best for you guys. Go chase your dreams and don't forget about me! I am off now, going to read "My Resolutions" by Chicken Soup & Soul. Adios!





Work, or twerk?

So I was out from the National Service Programme and was thinking of finding a job. So I did find a job and I survived for a month.
Damn, I never thought working would be this pressure. I work as a part-time worker but since I wasn't doing anything at home, so the manager gave about 8-12 hours a day job for me. So all I did was standing, and serving customer for RM6/hour. It wasn't that bad, though. But the manager, he was so strict in everything that even though a part-time worker, have to work as a full-time, one. After couple of weeks of working, I was thinking that I have to quit before my migraine get worst than now. So I did, quit my job after a month of working. I am free now, yaaaaay!


Love, or hate?

So as usual, I can't accept things easily in life even though I know there is something hidden behind all that happened. People think that I am playing the hearts of others while they have no idea what am I thinking about. There are so many kind of things running on my mind and I could not think or decide to love or to hate. I have so many things to do and at the same time, I've to take care of the gentlemen's feelings. It is not easy to reject people in life. They three came at the same time and I rejected three of them. Bestfriends? Oops I don't play the friendzone game. It's too much too say "Can't we just stay as friends?" Wow, it was so hard for me to say that to them. So I left, silently and let them live their own life(s).




The trial examination has ended, finally. It was really a challenging time for me. I did my best and I has finally managed to be the at least, top 30 student in school. I am so proud of myself, though my mom said it was not a good result. I only got 4A out of 10. It is not the big exam yet, but I think that I've done my very best and I already had broke my own leg for the exam. Truth to be told, I cannot bear to hear that mom was not satisfied with my result. Gotta work and strive harder for the future. Wish me luck.

So many things happened this lately. I rarely go home these few weeks because of the exam. So I decided to stay at school and spend time with fellow friends. I somehow feel so sad to think that I will leave the chaos in school, very soon. Only less than two months left and I have to leave the school for good. The chaos in school, especially in class and the dorm itself, really made myself a better person. These people really meant something to me. My classmates were not the person I thought they were. I saw the manly-kind-of-person presented by the boys, and the girls that I spent my every night with, were not as I expected. These people brought the good and bad inside me and somehow changed myself for a better person. They really bring the shines in my life and I am sure going to miss them so bad. 

I've been so emotional these few days. Everything seemed negative to me. I was so tired of the same thing that happened again and again. I lost the interests in things I used to enjoy. I thought of letting everything goes as the God says. I never thought that choosing between two was so hard that I did not know which one to choose. I will be damned if I choose and damned if I don't. So i decided not to choose both. I've been asking for many people's opinion and they said that I have to choose between two. I don't know what I should I do. What should I actually do?






I did not know what was i thinking this lately. I was so curious about everything. Like every single thing? It has been a really hectic week for me, though we are still celebrating raya as usual.