I don't even know what i don't know :c /sigh/ my life is now in a misery where i feel like giving up on everything that i'm doing right now. Everything seems so wrong right now. I can't focus my study and i don't even know what am i studying -_- I had a long day today; class till 5pm and i have test tomorrow which i haven't studied anything yet. /playing oceans by coldplay/ /crying for the melody/ /sigh/ what should i do? I just had a test yesterday and i'm going to have another one tomorrow. There are so many assignments to be submitted within these few weeks and i am not strong enough to face all of these in a time. Been crying in the shower for nothing because i'm so in misery. Feeling so stressed out but i couldn't figure out why am i acting like this. I feel like giving up on myself, slowly giving up on everything. The studies are getting harder, of course, and i'm too stupid to take a test or quiz or anything. Even though I had study for that one particular subject before the class starts, I still could't understand what the lecturer is teaching about. /sigh/ I need a short vacation or road trip with friends, seriously. And then i saw this quotes on twitter/instagram (i can't remember) it somehow relates to my situation right. But it's not all of the problem. Its just one of it.
"To be honest, i often feel lonely. Is that bad? I mean, sure I have all my friends and family who dearly love me and all but sometimes, I just feel like I want more than that you know. I want to have a deeper relationship with somebody. It's crazy to think about really, if you ask me. I can't help but feel terrible. Sometimes I even find myself get jealous with my friends who have relationships. I ask myself, "what the hell is wrong with you?" Maybe i just really yearn for that kind of romantic affection. I keep looking for that person i can be sweet and cute with. It's stupid, i know. I even feel stupid. But what the heck. I'm only human. I'm allowed to feel these things, right?"
So yea, still trying to figure out what's going on with me and what i'm having on my mind right now. Just gotta study now because i have a test tomorrow. Till then.